stats

what i ate today:

cookies

popcorn

grapes, strawberries

oreos

a plum

milk

filling

history, today's google searches:

noah and the whale

push 2009 stills

push 2009

push

cherbourg beirut lyrics

andrew simpson

pamela anderson

zooey deschanel and katy perry

yael naim

blue ridge mountains lyrics

filling

excerpts:

Celia DudeLago: emilieieieiiweiweioweowieoiwoeioioooooo
Celia DudeLago: you should spell your name that way
Celia DudeLago: forever
Celia DudeLago: that would be so cool.

filling

Lyssybee: Nothing's clear! Ever. Do not fret.

&I: I'll try not to

&I: I can hear a buzz buzzing and i'm scared.

Matt: It's probably a bug. There is a firefly in my room and i'm letting her hang out.

Stranger: Hey there!

Me: hi!

Stranger: I love you!

i feel a little better. i think i like to have things to look forward to. i should start taking my camera to more places. and i should really stop saying i should get a polaroid camera and actually get one. i want the things in these pictures to happen. to me. to you, if you want. i want a hair cut. i want socks. take me sock-shopping. i realized how much i like socks. especially wearing them to bed. though when i'm not wearing them, i feel really really free. silly? no. naked. jealous?

sylvia

i feel like we all have so much to say but no one ever says it. not like people hide things just that when we try to say things it never comes out the way we feel in our heads. like dreams, when you have them they're so clear around the edges but in the middle it's all a jumble. i can see everything in my head but if i went to write down something i have to stop because it doesn't work, then i just feel disappointed in myself. like my thoughts are my two index fingers caught between those paper chinese finger traps, you know you just keep pulling and pulling. when i first experienced those i just kept pulling and i never pushed together my fingers like i was supposed to, even when i knew that's how you did it i just pulled. why does that happen? i never learn my lesson. i wish i could explain myself without having to explain myself.

lay down with me my dear, lay down. under stormy night, tell nobody.

nietzsche

good daze not so lazy
i woke up and got a letter in the mailbox
i sound dumb.

Our greatest experiences are our quietest moments

sill

I want to go night swimming.

seven faces

I'm just biting my lips biting my lips biting biting biting my lips.

"It appears to me impossible that I should cease to exist, or that this active, restless spirit, equally alive to joy and sorrow, should only be organized dust — ready to fly abroad the moment the spring snaps, or the spark goes out which kept it together. Surely something resides in this heart that is not perishable, and life is more than a dream."

Isn't that beautiful? It makes my throat clench its fists, then it opens up and lets light in. What are you worrying about? Don't sweat it

~

it's nights like this that i love everything. i'm so proud that i'm here!

scenic world

I remember when i was young all i wanted to do was sit outside at night and watch flowers bloom. I thought it was the most extraordinary thing and i wanted to see it for myself. I never did though, because i was afraid of the dark.

thursday thursday thursday i was so late and i felt bad about not hearing animal collective through my window. it was alright though it was nbd. that morning we went to the golden dawn and drew on the paper placemat and all these people were doing business. in the golden dawn. why?

and then we left a note for our waiter and i hugged him but he seemed REALLY WEIRDED OUT but i wasn't too broken up about it. and then the nicest pairs of shoes AND a silk shirt at the village thrift, matt got leather boat shoes that were a) boats and b) leather and c) shoes and i found the most happenin spirit sneakers that remind me of kindergarten. and when we got home we were sitting in matt's k itch en and eating hummus and chips and strawberries and chocolate milk, and when that was finished matt flung the bag of chips behind him and i exploded with laughter and half of my glass of chocolate milk. some time later he proposed we make tea. so we made dat tea and put a lot and by a lot i mean a lot of honey in them. the teas. i think i choked or something so then i exploded with more tea. so at this point there was just tea and chocolate milk in my hair and all over matt's kitchen. and i was blind half the time, and we tried waltzing and "sango"ing but it didn't work out too well.

AND THEN we left to go to the high school and see devon and paige in our spankin new shoes and FOUND THEM and talked to those guys those guise. and the teachers helping all the senior citizens onto the buses to take them away thought matt and i were going to project graduation at least a century's worth of times.

when we left it was realized that we had been following the buses for a few minutes then diverged from them but thought we should have just kept following and shown up, hey you guys. we ended up sitting in my kitchen and for whatever reason my mom decided to show matt pictures of me from when i was little, which literally never happens, and brain was in his pajamas and then we left and saw up.

and up was good i teared up at the part where he was looking at ellie's adventure book and she wrote "thanks for the adventure now go find a new one" which is kind of funny thinking about it and matt teared up at the part where carl said "bad dog". because i mean that dog was just so cute and nice and not even bad at all, but really really good. i hid underneath your porch because i love you.

paige i forgot to purr for/on you. i can purr like a cat, you would have died so many times. like i would have killed you. I'M SORRY!

etc

ete

i have the most beautiful friends
wet grass feet and everyone had light breathy hair, and good flannels and sharpie tattoos and sleeping.
not to mention human pyramids, and i meowed and purred on everyone!

happy summer~ nicole and i are having a dinner party

pulling plums

i want to sing beirut for everyone all the time. i sang transatlantique for everyone afta school. it was just such a nice day. i want to buy a nice cheap preferrably shitty acoustic guitar and sing le moribond with it for those people always.

i was 90 percent purple and 10 percent green today, and it was probably the most contenting. so many people wore my hat today. it made me happy! I love hair and touching it.

i watched lost in translation with matt and ate hummus and colored napkins with fabric marker and was just purple and happy.

i want to run my own vineyard and make wine for the rest of my life and write books and fingerpaint murals for free and see everything and use my leather backpack to carry my life around in

and to share with people

on their way

beam to beam

Everyone is so beautiful and every day just gets better. Even when I have a bad day or even a string of bad days, they end with a good one and I feel a whole load better than before. and when the good days come you realize how silly worrying so much is, and being fearful. don't be frightened, don't be also frightened.

listening to beirut