29 July 2009


i made leah a wee parcel and sent that off. celia stopped by for a few minutes to give me the precious gift she brought with her from greece for me, and i gave her two nice hugs and a small pep talk. she's off! outside is like laying on a piece of hot buttered toast (as if toast is that great AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT), if we were all an inch tall. i'm listening to jazz and my cat is trying to steal things from me, little theif. i'm going to watch the darjeeling limited again, also: will you take your shirt off and sit away from me so i can practice drawing backs & spines? i'll make you fruit with granola and yogurt, pinky promise
The fear of being forgotten.


"When we fall in love, the brain releases a chemical called phenylethylamine (PEA) which causes our palms to sweat, our hearts to race, and "butterflies" in our stomachs. It's possible to trigger someone else's brain to release PEA by looking at them a lot during a conversation, which in turn makes that person more likely to fall in love with you."

28 July 2009

to be continued

i watched the darjeeling limited and i just love that movie. i really do. i feel like whenever i talk to my dad about wes anderson he uses the word "weird" a lot, but he means it in a good way. he sort of looks like a schwartzman, but it's mostly just his nose. speaking of noses, everyone in that movie has a good nose. especially adrien brody.
hazel: i think we should hang out and spend a day drinking coffee and screenwriting.

homelessness and stealing

i got the nicest package from andrew in the mail! on 26 june i went to sleep at eleven at night and the next day i woke up at 8 pm. and i didn't go downstairs until about midnight which was when i saw the envelope on the counter; apparently my name is "emily deveroux" but i don't mind one bit because it isn't anyone's fault if they misspell a name, pish mosh mackintosh. 3-d glasses, blank post its, danger tape, a puffy whiz kid sticker, decorated cd with a note on it (royal: died tragicly saving his family from a sinking battle ship) ahaahahaha which made my life. andrew you won't read this but you have a very nice voice and i like all the sliding going on with your guitar! A plus, punk

i think freckles are just the best things in the whole world. they really are. watched stardust memories~ i will never tire of that film.
i love mail! thanks gerber baby

27 July 2009

bad lost bad lost bad lost bad lost bad


24 July 2009

i struggled with the phrase half hour when i was little

there are some films and certain music that i don't think any of us will ever forget and that offers a great deal of comfort to me. what i really want to do is watch stand by me and talk to my dad about it. ive watched that movie at least three times with him. and earlier i made tea and accidentally drank a leaf or two and all i could think about was that i haven't made tea in a million years count em a million years, at least not in my house. i realized i never cleaned out my locker and they probably threw away my favorite mug and the only art project from the whole year that i actually liked but it's alright there will be more mugs and art projects in my life. alex julia told me about where and how jazz originated and the heritage of every band member from gogol bordello, and as usual he made me laugh which is another comfort another comforter. here have a blanket i have this for you. i read about sin fang bous and ate cheesecake and caught up a little with skins. i like the word phantasmagoria and i miss the lakes from last summer. i think i had a dream that matt or someone was trying to sound jamaican but i am not quite positive, last night i spent looking at pictures on the cobrasnake with timothy, what two year olds i am five with braces. i think i'm going to look for film cameras with brain sometime soon, i think i should talk to him about considering a beard in his life.

what stays? i want to know what is permanent

ah good ol fashioned life ive been told many things about you take a seat. if you -yes you reading this- tell me we can go swimmingggg g g g together i will dye my hair red though i'll probably do that anyway i mean WHAT hush your mouth i'm rosa parks bye

edit: i want to see adam but i think it will make me too sad and empty

its funny how i can be so alive and sure of things and then something small will happen and that entire wave of emotion will be completely lost

23 July 2009

add lights out for darker skies by british sea power, ceremony by new order and sinhership by sin fang bous to that list and i can die happy

Dwight Schrute: Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check-in time is now, check-out time is never.
Jim Halpert: Does my room have cable?
Dwight Schrute: No. And the sheets are made of fire.
Jim Halpert: Can I change rooms?
Dwight Schrute: Sorry we're all booked up. Hell convention in town.
Jim Halpert: Can I have a late check-out?
Dwight Schrute: I'll have to talk to the manager.
Jim Halpert: You're not the manager, even in your own fantasy?
Dwight Schrute: I'm the owner.. the co-owner. With Satan!
Jim Halpert: Okay, just so I understand it. In your wildest fantasy, you are in hell and you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil.
Dwight Schrute: But I haven't told you my salary yet.
Jim Halpert: Go.
Dwight Schrute: Eighty thousand dollars.

all my simple feelings are melting away

i wanted to say something

22 July 2009

i feel better now.

all my cherished memories

i really missed devon! i'm glad to be talking to him again.

P.S. i have good feelings about this day

i don't mind not sleeping one bit. birdhouse in your soul/jump in the line are my favorite songs right now and probably for the rest of well forever. i wa- nt -to watch beetlejuice. i made a strengths and weaknesses list last night, and i think the only legitimate strength on that list was "i make good eggs". it's true, i do. call me conceited BUT dont h8 tha playa h8 tha game dawg

edit pt. 2: boy am i always wrong or what

21 July 2009

un everything

i can't pretend i don't miss it.
i was just about to walk five miles in a day
i feel like saying this has gone far enough until i realize i'm just being a complete idiot

bean borrowers

not to put too fine a point on it say i'm the only bee in your bonnet make a little birdhouse in your soul

20 July 2009


19 July 2009

strive 4 4s

how weird it has been recently. basically i just want to eat the same japanese food with matt and do nothing else for the rest of my life even if it means him eating my dinner because i'm too picky for my own health. anyway you didn't hear anything so sh i said SH don't make me come in there


P.S. wtehjrnkhytrgjhaejtkrgjhk WHAT

why why why why why why why why WHY

17 July 2009

yeah it is

sweet nothings

triangles, drawing eyes, when you can see light through someone else's/your own hair {and all the little ones around the edges look like strings of light}, naturally red hair, making eggs, cleaning, really really thick coffee, half awake dreams, when people who i've never talked to start talking to me, chewed pencils, "what would i want sky" by animal collective, "vampire" by antsy pants, matt's comma, mixing paint on my laptop, crepes, "sleeping lessons" by the shins, studying french {rare occurance}, getting legitimately happy, sad or excited when i see a person/photograph/film, not being clean, hamtaro, tattoo, when anyone tries to show me a constellation, holes in things, anything by beirut, the sound of the ukulele, liking cats because they're cute and liking dogs because i feel so happy around them and they really are loyal companions, when i called devon at three in the morning and a) he answered and b) told me what chinese finger traps were, wearing hats, prescription glasses, vitamins, peanut butter on toast, when you talk to someone and know that they're understanding/trying to understand, cellos, when someone looks into you and then smiles, ink pens, dresses, eating cookie dough without any regard for how my stomach will feel about it later, noticing things, handwriting (and crossword puzzles), satisfactions, cold red cheeks, being happy or just content with something unfinished because it rarely happens, being happy or content in general [because that rarely happens], diners in new jersey, the state of new jersey, ellipses, eyelashes, woody allen because he has the best sense of humor, when you say a word or phrase over and over again so much that it starts to sound very silly, waking up early, chapped lips, enjoying the film marie antoinette because it's so pretty, talking to celia, closing your eyes and picking out every part of a song as you listen when you're really listening, closing your eyes in general, salty marshmallows, reading an entire paragraph/page/two pages and then realizing you have no idea what happened and were just daydreaming, being cold, being hot, biking, the film garden state, sweaters (and flannel), knowing that we're existing at the same time, boat shoes, boats in general, being cute, my dad, the wind, red wine that's too dry for me to swallow.

16 July 2009

i like kimya dawson

i talked to my dad about math rock and i realized he talks when he does crosswords, which is every day. also, we have the same handwriting, only we write the letter E differently. i watched juno and didn't drink tea and wore my clouds. also this
but relax it's okay to stand out
send clouds to curl up in
i don't have to wear clothes
you don't have to listen.
is just so nice. that, and buddy holly
edit i miss matt

15 July 2009

this happened, his happened

connor: i hate how i am
&i: me too.
connor: why does this happen?
i dont know

well i just hate everything.

14 July 2009

1 - WHY WON'T MY HAIR GROW???????????//////
2 - matt's mom made pie yesterday so that's really all that matters right now

13 July 2009

oh boy

i just saw a tiny spider crawling on my desk. i picked up the shirt i was sitting on and wrapped the spider up in it and threw it under my bed.

what a great way to be haunted during the night time. i should start thinking more often, i've been told it's nice.


10 July 2009


i want to do that more than anything right now.

08 July 2009

making friends, still afraid of lettuce, wood in my dad's favorite mug. the one i'm holding hostage in my room.
Marchelle: You night owl.
&I: That's me, though I am also a morning bird.
Marchelle: You're just a bird. Let's keep it basic.

I should be floating
but i'm weighted by thinking.
empty space. lonely
what would i want sky!
what would i want sky!

2 cute 4 words

Now rectangular is the wooden box
Where lies my love 'neath the grazing flocks
They say he died of the chicken pox
In part I must agree
One chick too many had he

03 July 2009

i think you would've liked it

Connor: They had blueberry ice cream. It tasted like Alaska.

i listened to a lot of pink couch sessions today, and at 1 in the morning i made coffee and a bagel. i talked to connor. i missed him! we talked about my hurting back and how my spine was a twisted rope with several knots in it (two whole panes of knotty twine) which needs fixing badly.
elvis costello, and our days and daze you know the usual. i listened to mushaboom with celia and drank a cup of the old chai a cup of the old chai a cup of the old chai. EH? i love feist, she makes me happy. nights go so quickly whyse it so hard to stay up all night for some people? it's already four SHASHEESH
p.s. tokyo

02 July 2009


Dad: Ems, I mark my CDs so I know which ones are which. For example, "Beirut, 70s, Michael Jackson."
Me: Seventies what, dad?
Dad: Hits!

01 July 2009

page three hundred and ninety-four

I suppose, that is the point.

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