20 November 2010

hills and hills aplenty

last night i saw harry potter and it was really incredible and the ending was noiseless and looming. i don't really understand why they completely re animated dobby/why he was voiced by a different person but his role was really sentimental and sad. i had a long dream that might have been two dreams but if it was they had no break in the middle, and i remember waking up and it was dark and i leaned over and drank a lot of water made cold because it gets cold at night but i don't think i checked the time which i ordinarily always do. when i got home last night i felt very reflective and like there were a lot of things that occured yesterday that contributed to it. most of the time i feel topsy turvy or like when you're in a car or a bike and you go over a hill and your stomach drops only there is a series of hills. and i guess each hill is a person or a recent occurance. this is the first time in a while i noticed that the reason for my emotions isn't because of past things but present ones. i'm a little tired of the feeling of going all the way up a hill only to just glide down it again, it's like carrying a huge sack of flour and when you have just reached your destination the bag falls and the flour spills everywhere

i feel like my face has changed so

"For the enlightened, all that exists is nothing but the Self, so how could any suffering or delusion continue for those who know this oneness?"

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